When things slow down: Lockdown tower moments and healing

So here we are on day number-I have no idea-of the ‘circuit breaker’ in Singapore. It took me a couple of weeks to get used to the new rhythm of my life, but I am happy to report that I’ve been thriving.

With few things going on in my life- no evenings at the bar I do tarot readings at on a weekly basis, no travelling to meet clients, no meetings with friends nor public events to set up a booth at- everything has taken on an extraordinarily slow pace, the likes of which I’ve not known in my adult life. (Of course, I have the privilege of being a child-free person. Don’t hate me, parents!)

I went into lockdown dealing with some unexpected news regarding my professional path as an intuitive healer that created a bit of a Tower situation. The Tower is one of the major arcana cards in a standard tarot deck. A Tower moment is one in which you feel that your foundations have been shaken and the rug pulled out from under your feet. It’s sudden and difficult to grapple with. I was reeling and shocked about the news, and experiencing a lot of inner turmoil. It seemed like all that I had worked for thus far had suddenly been struck down, and that I was forced to rebuild. A month or so after, our dear family cat, who had been my emotional support for 19 years, crossed the rainbow bridge. I was devastated.

And then came lockdown and all the financial uncertainty that came with it.
Being isolated with just my own inner turmoil and inner conflict for company seemed like an ominous prospect. But through running energy clearings on myself, and with the remote support of energy healer friends, I was able to move through this turmoil and came to several realisations.

Firstly, I realised how much I had become attached to one specific modality, and how I was betraying myself and my own unique identity in doing so. I was not being authentic, not honouring that part of me that resonated with other energies. With the unexpected news I received, I was forced to review my attachment to this modality and why I had so much fears with regard to doing my own thing. It’s led me to look at how I can make my business unique to me, and starting thinking of offering services that speak to what I resonate with.

Secondly, I realised how much my cat had been serving as emotional support, bless her. Without her around, certain conflicts became even more evident than before. I was forced to look at these wounds more closely, feel the pain that I’d numbed myself to, and thanks to a gifted energy healer friend, achieved massive clearing. Realising that I’d numbed myself to that pain was a huge milestone in of itself. But I realised how allowing oneself to feel pain takes up a lot of energy. It’s a normal, and very human coping mechanism to shove it aside, because it can be crippling and interfere with our daily functioning. So I decided to be kinder to myself and not judge myself for not being ‘strong’ enough to take a deep dive into those wounds.

Lastly, thanks to a wonderful spiritually-connected therapist friend, I came to the realisation that I was placing too much pressure on myself to be connected to the Universe and infinity. I wasn’t giving myself credit and placing incredible expectations on myself to be some evolved soul connecting to everything, which led to a feeling of disappointment with myself, and the feeling that I was never good enough.

I strongly believe that lockdown created the environment necessary for all these energies to be transmuted so massively. The fact that I had literally nothing else going on beyond the clients I supported, and the time and the attention I was able to direct to self-healing were decisive factors. When things slowed down outwardly, everything accelerated inwardly.

I remember consulting an ayurvedic doctor once who told me that the strength of the medication must be proportionate to the seriousness of the disease. Take too small a dose of whatever herb and you will feel no effect. That’s perhaps what I’d been doing all this while- very slowly chipping away at a big issue, and feeling no positive result. What I needed was to abandon that little hammer and chisel, and pick up a sledgehammer. But what that required was time, energy, and the right circumstances. All of those factors came together for me during this lockdown.

Financially, I’m doing better that I thought I would be during this period. Emotionally, I feel a weight off my shoulders. And spiritually, my faith in the Universe which took a blow at the beginning of this pandemic (‘cos seriously, did this really have to happen a few months after I officially went into business as an intuitive healer?) is renewed bit by bit, every single day. I’m learning to trust more in the Universe in this very unique situation we are all living through. And that’s my biggest takeaway thus far from all of this. I need to trust the process!

Financial Abundance

As a tarot reader, psychic intuitive and energy healer, I  have been confronted by people and other practitioners who believe that people with gifts such as mine should not charge their clients. Most recently, while travelling in Germany, a tarot reader at a street market who I decided to support and request for a reading from, challenged my credibility and sincerity as a tarot reader with the question “ Have you ever done readings for free?” 

Indeed I have, but that is beside the point.  This is a common belief system many lightworkers fall into, and one that I struggled with at first myself. I often asked myself if my ultimate aim is service, should I not charge less to serve even those who can’t ? They might be the ones who need it most after all.

And yet, I live in Singapore, one of the most expensive cities in the world, where working as a psychic intuitive seems rather unintuitive (no pun intended!)

I told the tarot reader I met that like any other  worker, tarot readers deserve money for our work. Our work is valuable and requires that we maintain a good balance physically, emotionally, and mentally, in order to serve our clients best. I also not-so-gently informed him that he should not judge others based on his own limiting belief systems, and promptly upped and left.

That said, I do feel it is important to give back by offering free sessions every now and then. 

There are also those practitioners who give us all a bad name. They are the unscrupulous ones who take advantage of clients’ vulnerability and request exorbitant sums of money for their services. I learned this the hard way when I referred a friend to a psychic whom I trusted, only to realise that she had taken advantage of his poor emotional state and taken close to 60,000 USD from him, ensuring him she would help him get his lover back. Of course, none of her promises came true, and I cut off contact with her when I learned what she had done.

On the flip side, as a psychic intuitive in Singapore, one of the more common questions I am asked by my clients, is “ How do I attract more money? Will I be successful?”

In fact, this is a question I have often asked of myself and my Akashic Masters, especially since making the transition to working as a full-time psychic intuitive and energy healer. Financial abundance is an important aspect of our lives, and we should be open to all its forms, beyond the type of car we drive, or our bank balance.

So I’ve been running the ‘Abundance’ Akashic Light Clearing and Activation (one of the 40 that students are attuned to during my course on the Akashic Records) and the Universe has shown me different forms of abundance it blesses me with.Through surprising connections with friends and acquaintances, I managed this week to get discounts a couple of restaurants, and to an amusement park. I paid less than half of what  I should have!

This might seem insignificant, but from this I have learned that we should not limit ourselves to one definition of financial abundance!

In fact, abundance itself comes in many forms- supportive relationships around us, and good health being the first examples that come to mind. We are blessed in many ways, and it is so important to recognise this before we work with the Universe to get more!

Musings of a tarot reader in Singapore

Tarot cards inconspicuously slipped into my life at the age of 17. All by design, I’m sure. I chanced upon a yellowed book on the art of divination with playing cards abandoned on a bench in school. Esoterica had always fascinated me, and so, it was only natural that I stuffed the book into my backpack before excitedly purchasing a deck of playing cards at my neighbourhood minimart on my way home from school.

I proceeded to do readings -no, predictions- for my family and friends, my mother being one of my most willing and open guinea pigs. I would draw 3 or 4 cards, then flip to the page which listed the significance of each suit and number, before reading to my ‘clients’ what the book said. There was hardly any interpretation on my part, but still there was something magical about the experience for me.

Things became a little spooky when an accident I had predicted my mother would encounter actually came to pass. Thankfully she escaped unscathed, while her friend suffered minor injuries. I laid off the cards for a few months, before purchasing my first tarot deck.

I was enchanted, but it took many years of intermittent reading, a renewed spiritual quest that began in earnest in 2012, and a refresher course before I became comfortable enough to read professionally. My relationship with tarot has evolved over the years. I have developed my own spiritual practice, and work with Akashic energies to do more profound healing work on myself and for my clients (find out more here). I continue to enjoy my cards however, and do believe they provide a form of guidance accessible to many. 

I still own the Universal Waite deck I got myself all those years ago, as a teenager. It is the deck I use for private consultations.

Tarot FAQ

1. “Can I get my fortune told?”

Singapore has no shortage of ‘fortune tellers’- a term I use loosely to signify all those practising palmistry, Vedic, Chinese or Western astrology, and other divinatory arts- and superstitions surrounding them. (People still do ask me if their lives get shortened if they consult me!) While predictions were how I started out working with cards, I now use the tarot as a tool to help my clients find clarity with convoluted issues, and make choices more aligned with their highest good. Sometimes an ex creeps back into your life just as you have decided to move on. Or maybe you have a secure, well-paying job, but are offered a role in a start-up. Or perhaps you and a family member have had a long-standing dispute, and you’d like to find a way out of that relational impasse.

I do sometimes give clients indications about what the future holds, but inform them that these predictions only hold true for a few months. This is because I do not subscribe to the belief that the future is fixed and unchangeable. With enough inner work, we can, and should make more conscious choices that empower us to create the lives we want for ourselves.

So, no, I will not tell you at what age you will die. Nor will I tell you when you are going to get married. But I can tell you how to overcome obstacles in a relationship, and lead a more purposeful life.

2. “How does it work?”

I once had a client who said the four cards she had drawn did not resonate with her. This can sometimes happen when a client isn’t focused. I asked my client to reshuffle the cards, and draw another four. Believe it or not, she drew the same four cards.

Consider the odds of that happening. There are 78 cards in a standard Rider Waite deck, which most tarot readers, including me, use.

The cards do not show themselves by chance. Your guides and the universe conspire to make it happen. And when you choose not to be receptive to their guidance, they make it happen again, so that you listen.

On a more operational level, the 78 cards each have set meanings, but how I interpret them varies on the guidance I receive from my intuition and higher consciousness. Sometimes a card serves as mere trigger for a message to come through, a message which may only have tenuous links to the original intended significance of the card. 

In short, the magic doesn’t really lie within the cards themselves.

3. “How accurate are you?”

The accuracy of a reading depends on two factors in my opinion, the clarity of the reader as a channel for higher wisdom, and the openness of a client. In other words, if you come in for a consultation wanting to test if any of this is a real, you’re likely to go away more affirmed in your belief that tarot readers are all charlatans. That doesn’t bother me at all, because I trust the Universe will send me more kind, open-minded clients than ones who fear what they do not understand.

I also work within the Akashic Records (find out about my Akashic soul readings here), and this allows me a deeper connection with higher consciousness and my own intuition, and creates a conducive space for tarot readings, even in public spaces with chaotic energies.

4. “What are your qualifications?”

Why, I have a Bachelors’ with honours (first class) in divinatory arts from Hogwarts, of course!

To book a tarot reading or Akashic Soul reading, contact me.